Nuttier than squirrel poo.

I had class again on Thursday morning. It was much more... normal, I guess. I purchased a recorder for two reasons, first, if this crazy professor of mine comes out with any other gems of psychosis, I want to have it on record, and second, it's good for studying to have the lectures at my fingertips. You know, I need a good nickname for this professor. Toto. Yes. Professor Toto.

Anyway, I recorded lecture (with permission, mind you), and it was disappointingly uneventful. As people got up to go, I switched my machine off. It was only AFTER I switched it off that we were informed the squirrels of the DC metro area were starving this winter because of a dearth of acorns resulting from unfavorable weather. Collectively, the class blinked. Apparently, Dr. Toto's neighbor was leaving food out for the squirrels, Dr. Toto had amassed hundreds of energy bars from the myraid of races completed over the years, and were these energy bars safe for squirrel consumption?

The class blinked again.

I said, "Eh, old Powerbars, methadone, what's the difference?"

Dr. Toto looked askance at me.

"Oh, you know, a few years back people got in trouble for feeding their methadone to the squirrels in the city."

Dr. T. said, "What?!?! ...Oh, you're from NY." Dismissing wave of the hand.

"Yes. And so are you."

"Well. Still. I may put food out for my squirrels. I don't want them to starve to death!"

Dr. T. is indeed, as the phrase goes, nuttier than squirrel poo. Certainly this winter's squirrel poo, at any rate. To quote Sex and the City, squirrels are just rats in cuter outfits. I have this image in my head of the crazies I used to see in the Bronx and Washington Sq. Park in Manhattan proper feeding the local wildlife. (Local wildlife that could in many cases open a shock-cord tied metal garbage can in less time than it'll take you to say "fuggeddaboudit" even though they lack opposable thumbs.) Prof. Toto is 3 showers, 8 secondhand grubby shawls, and one metal shopping cart away from being one of them. I say the DC area squirrels need to *ahem* grow some NUTS. HAHAHAHAH.

And isn't the UK having a problem with too many grey squirrels outcompeting their native red squirrels for food and resources? Why not ship them to Prof. T's backyard?